Fifty Shades of Ew...

You know how I occasionally put warnings before my more opinionated and offensive blog posts? Well here’s your warning. I will not apologize for writing this. This is simply my opinion on a series of books. I’m not trying to start some online debate, I’m not telling YOU what to do, I’m telling you what I’VE decided to do and why I decided to do it.

Okay let’s get down to it, what is Fifty Shades of Grey and how the heck do I know about it? Well, it’s on the news like…every day, everyone’s buzzing about it, bookstores can’t keep enough copies stocked to satisfy the craving, I mean what’s up with this? I hadn’t heard of this book until one of my coworkers started telling me about it. So I did a little research about this series, Fifty Shades of Grey (It cracks me up how the second book is called Fifty Shades Darker. As if it could get any darker.) Basically what it is, in case you’re lucky enough to not know, is this book about a girl who falls for a guy and its dark and pornographic and blah blah blah X rated stuff. Luckily my mind hasn’t been scarred by details, but people I know who’ve read it said that it literally made them blush. BREAKING DAWN MADE ME BLUSH. Which is why I never finished it. But go back for a second, people I know read this? Yeah, people I care about and considered great people (most of them are active Christians too) are reading this book. What the heck?

Ladies, lets pause here. If you’ve ever caught your guy looking at porn on the internet or wherever, you’d be mad as a hornet. Correct? So why are you READING porn? It’s the same thing! Whether you’re reading it or staring at pictures of it, it’s doing the same thing to your mind. And what if reading about this “hot, mysterious, dark guy” in the book makes you unsatisfied with your man? Don’t you realize that you could be destroying your own relationship? What about respecting his feelings? Yeah he might not voice it, but if he read the book too he might not feel like he measures up to your little fantasy prince.

Single ladies that are reading this, NO GUY YOU DATE IS GOING TO BE A PERFECT STORY BOOK PRINCE CHARMING! Reading the book is setting your expectations on a level that’s totally unrealistic and well…crude.

Why am I not reading this? I’ll give you 7 reasons.

1.      Um, it’s probably illegal because I’m under 18.

2.      I’m a virgin okay? I’m saving myself for my husband. I’m not going to have sex before I get married, so why would I want to read about it? Just sayin’.

3.      Jesus specifically talks about adultery in the Bible. He says that even looking at someone lustfully (yeah that includes reading) is committing adultery in your heart. Even if I’m not married yet, someday I will be (maybe) and I don’t want to have committed mental adultery with some other dude. Even if he is just a fictional character.

4.      I don’t want my man to hang up porn in his garage so why would I hang up porn in my mind?

5.      Last time I checked, sex was supposed to be between a married man and woman. Not plastered on the pages of a hideously disgusting novel.

6.      If my mother found that book on my night stand….she would kill me. Literally kill me.

7.      I have a relatively pure, innocent, clean mind and uh, I’d kind of really like it to stay that way.

There are your reasons. Not your reasons, my reasons.