Ladies,
Valentine’s Day is approaching. Red and pink hearts are hanging up in all the
stores, chocolate sales are at an all time high, and Family Video has rented
out the last of their romantic movies to the single cat lady with two pints of
triple chocolate ice cream under her arm. Expectations are higher than Fun’s
friends, and all the guys are in panic mode, trying to figure out what the heck
to get you.
Thanks to
all the Zales, Lindor, Kay, Pajamagram, and 1-800-FLOWERS commercials, your man
has reached a whole new level of, “I am so confused right now.” Johnny is
afraid to get Suzie roses because his last girlfriend dumped him when he got
her a dozen roses because she thought it was cheesy. Fred is scarred for life
because last year he gave chocolate to a girl he didn’t really know well but
thought he might like. Turns out he
doesn’t like her as much as he thought he would and she really thinks he’s
sweet and won’t leave him alone.
See where
I’m going with this? Valentine’s Day is a losing situation for everyone. Guys
are stressing, trying to figure out if or what they should get for the girl
they like. And girls are freaking out and pretending to hate Valentine’s Day in
hopes that some guy will notice and help them change their minds. BUT KNOW
THIS, just because a girl is complaining
about the most moronic holiday ever invented DOES NOT mean that she wants you
to feel bad for her and get her chocolate (*Wink wink*).
Okay, here’s
what I’m proposing. I need your guys’ help too, alright? Let’s break up with
Valentine’s Day. Let’s stop making it about the person we like who may or may
not like us back. Let’s make it about someone that you KNOW how to please.
Someone who’s ALWAYS there for you. Someone who will appreciate whatever kind
of chocolate or flowers you get them. Someone who loves you for who you are.
Someone who knows you inside and out. Somebody who you absolutely CANNOT live
without.
You.
You thought
I was going to say Jesus, didn’t you?
Really
though, why not take this lame holiday and turn it into a “Happy Chocolate and
Netflix Day”? A “Stay in Bed Day” or “Jane Austen Movie Marathon Day”? A day
off where you only focus on the deep selfish desires of your amazing self.
Sleep in, run down to the nearest Walgreens and buy yourself some chocolate, grab
a movie, and stay in your pajamas all day. Eat peanut butter from the jar.
Don’t exercise. Don’t answer your phone. It’s simple really. Just do what you
want, and put Hallmark out of business. Show them who’s boss. For years Hallmark has been running our
lives, telling us what to do and making up dumb holidays that we feel obligated
to celebrate. Let’s just stop. Let’s turn Valentine’s Day into Me Day.
This is a
challenge. Take it with me.
hmm
ReplyDeleteLet me start off first by saying that if you are letting a corporation run your life, you might want to check yourself...
ReplyDeleteOkay, now to begin.
Your view of "Valentines day" is your own and this blog is so you can express yourself and your opinions freely so I get it but you make it seem like everybody is stressed out about the day. Hallmark doesn't "make up holidays" and nobody is telling anybody what to do or forcing anyone to do it. It is a choice. I'm sure you don't feel the same way about receiving gifts on Christmas. Nobody is forcing your parents to buy you gifts, they do it because they love you. Thus, we come back to valentines day. To me, your wanting to change it to "stuff my face and sit on the couch alone day" doesn't sound better than spending the day with my significant other and maybe spending a little extra money to show her how much she means to me. You said "Just do what you want" so I am going to do just that. Send her flowers,take her to dinner, a movie, buy some candy for her, and what ever else Hallmark says to do. Why? Because she deserves it. So you enjoy your alone time on the couch and I will enjoy spending time with my special someone and showing her that in my eyes, she is the best thing ever! Later on down the road when you decide to actually date a guy(or even better have a husband) I hope you are reminded of this blog and that you wont want him to buy you the "worldly cliche gifts" that you speak of because he will want to and if/when you tell him not to buy these things, watch his face because to him you will mean EVERYTHING. So I guess the point of this message is to show you that even if you don't want it or believe in love now, you will one day but don't hate on the people who are willing to take a risk to find it.
From someone who is not married but is hoping to be one day.
Hol, I agree with your [satirical] point but, at the same time, if we don't like the holiday, why even bring it up? Announcing your hatred of the day to the world only brings more attention to it. And I agree with the anon above on his (I'm assuming it's a "he") point about "doing whatever we want" - you know, my dear, that if YOU had a boyfriend you would love for him to do something special for you on Valentine's. Maybe not the flowers + chocolates + Hallmark card deal, but something that YOU like because he loves you. So for him, and for you, "doing whatever you wanted" would amount to celebrating Valentine's Day. For single people, I can see the draw of cuddling on the couch with yourself and watching romcoms, but can I wax idealistic? Imagine if, instead of throwing a "me" party, we ('we' in the general sense) did something for someone else? What if February 14th was "Singles' Volunteer Day Because We're Dateless", and we all overflowed the food pantries and old folks' homes? It seems those people could use some extra love, especially on a day dedicated to celebrating it.
ReplyDeleteWoahhh there my loves, this was all sarcasm in good fun. No harm meant. Superman, your girlfriend is a lucky one, and I really don't let a corporation run my life. Just my February. See my dear, I'm just a cynical girl who loves poking fun at people's fun. Believe it or not, a lot of people around me do stress about the holiday. I'm just writing this based off what I see. I only meant to lighten the mood for all of us who are sitting home watching Twilight on the 14th instead of gazing lovingly into another's eyes. If you want to buy your girlfriend flowers and all that, then good. You should do that. If I want to sit home and eat icecream, then I will. Someday if I ever have a boyfriend (highly unlikely) then I will probably adore Valentine's Day as much as anyother girl in a relationship. Until then, may chocolate and netflix be my ever loving companions. No hard feelings. :)
ReplyDeleteAutie, I agree. Let's do it.