First World Problem #35,861

First world problem #35,861: Cliques. No, I’m not saying I think cliques are a bad thing. I love cliques, really, I do. After all, what could possibly be wrong with forming a group of super cool elite people and standing in a super tight circle and not letting anyone else in? Oh wait. That’s not a clique, that’s a country club.

Really though. I’m honestly so sick of people complaining about cliques. I mean yeah, sometimes it’s annoying when you have to know the secret password of awesomeness just to be able to sit at their feet and worship them while they make fun of you, but I haven’t known a lot of cliques like that. For the most part, a clique is not a super secret group that is trying to block everyone else out. Usually it’s a group of people that really enjoy each other and maybe are too shy to reach out to anyone besides the others in their clique or as I like to call it, “Group”. I guess if you’re super shy, then yeah…groups can be intimidating. Really, I’m not trying to be a jerk or anything (okay, so maybe I am) but just GET OVER YOURSELF and go join in! What are they gonna do? Tell you to go away? Yeah right. People aren’t that horrible. Most the time. I have to admit, I’ve been in many a clique and I’m pretty sure only one of them was super elite (but I was like…a seven year old so…). All the other “cliques” I’m in that aren’t really cliques, are just a group of people that I happen to be having a conversation with at the time. I mean, come on guys, this is such a middle school problem. If you can’t handle it, how are you going to grow up?

Pretend you’re thirty. You’re a super successful business man or woman. You walk into the lunch room and you see that all your co-workers/employees are talking…in groups. What are you gonna do? Run out of the room crying that no one likes you because they didn’t all run up to you at the same time begging to start a conversation? Or be the mature adult you should be and pick a group and join in? It’s not like they’re going to eat you. If they ignore you, try the next group. Get used to rejection. It’s not always a bad thing.

I remember joining a drama group when I was about 13. I was one of about 20 new girls and guys, among about 40 seasoned actors. I was terrified. It took me forever to get over the fact that people weren’t going to drag me into their circles and force me to talk to them. And the few times that someone did (*Cough* Autie and Ella), I usually played it tough and pretended I was too good for them. Yeah, I was ridiculous. If I could redo my early teen years…well…I can’t, so never mind. Anyways it took me a while to learn that you just have to wiggle your way into the circle and OH MY GOSH participate in the conversation. Terrifying I know, but if you don’t then you’re going to regret it. Probably. Maybe.

Just…just don’t be the kid in the corner looking all sullen and pouty. Okay? It’s not the cliques’ fault that you’re too chicken to go say hi.

I'm single and I know it.....

So a few days ago I wrote a blog about how I’m not dating until I’m eighteen and yadda yadda. Inspiring right? But you know it’s easy to say “Oh I’m doing this you should do it too and be perfect like me” and crap, but it’s way harder to actually practice what I’m yelling at you guys.

Picture me in my car driving to the beach all happy and single and free with the wind blowing my frizzy blonde hair in my face, I’m singing along to One Direction’s “One Thing”. I pull into the parking lot and step out of my car, pick a perfect place on the beach and I sit down. By myself. Then I hear laughing and I look up, there’s a couple walking hand in hand with their feet barely touching the ground as they’re walking along. He says something sweet, she blushes, and they walk past. Out in the water there’s an old couple splashing each other with water like silly twelve year olds. Over to my right there are some kids that are way too young to be dating that are flirting and being stupid. I shake my head and lay back in the hot sand. Then I have an idea! Why not block out the sounds of all the happy couples around me? So I turn on Pandora. Alas, they play songs like “I’m yours” by Jason Mraz, “Roman Candle” by Fun, and a bunch of other cute sweet romantic songs. Inside myself, I just…I just…I curl up and die. I get up (all the seagulls around me flap their wings nervously) and I let out an agonizing scream, “WILL YOU GUYS JUST STOP IT ALREADY?!?!”All the happy couples turn around to look at me, the lonely girl on the beach. They frown. I turn beet red and sit back down. My phone goes off. It’s a text. I get all excited. But…it’s from Meijer. It’s a coupon for 60% off my next bottle of Crest 3D Whitening toothpaste. Yay.  I look up seeing that the couples have resumed whatever they were doing before and I sigh. I hear foot steps behind me. It’s a super cute guy. He’s walking towards me, he smiles. I smile shyly and twirl my hair around my finger. Then I hear a girl squeal as she runs to the guy and throws her arms around him. Then…I grab my car keys and leave. Alone. By myself. Alone. Lonely. Single. And most of all? Confused.

Okay, so that didn’t really happen. I mean, it has. All at different times. Oh, and I never yelled at them. I’m not this bold in person. With strangers. But I am confused. I mean, why do I want what I know I shouldn’t have? It’s stupid. Why do I want a relationship when it’s probably going to end with me sobbing my eyes out for two weeks? I think I’m mature enough to handle it. I’m probably not. I think I could probably make a guy pretty happy. That’s not the point. I have great self control. It doesn’t matter. I know inside….I think inside…maybe inside…I’m not ready. I’ve got a lot of things to work on. For one thing, I am the jealous type. All the way. It’s awful. If I had a boyfriend, and he looked at another girl, my eyes would turn from sparkly oceany blue, to Shrek green. I would probably have to fight off the urge to claw her face off. Also, I’m maybe kind of a little bit attention oriented. Ouch. That hurt to admit. I like getting compliments. However, I need to be able to make a relationship work WITHOUT them! What if I end up with a quiet guy (which I probably will because I don’t like loud obnoxious guys)? What if he rarely EVER builds me up? I need to be able to be confident in the fact he loves me without fishing for sweet nothings. I mean, they’re called sweet nothings for a reason, right? Basically, I have a lot I need to work on before I’m ready for a relationship. Still, I want one. NOW. And the obvious good little Christian homeschool girl answer for me should be, “So I decided to get so lost in God that I don’t even want a boyfriend anymore!” But I already am lost in God. It’s not working. So then I tried music. I mean, I’ve been trying music for most my life but I mean I tried to let that fill the guy hole in my wee little heart. Yeah, that didn’t work either. So I’m sitting here writing this thinking, “Dude, snap out of it. What’s wrong with you?” I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING!

God

Coffee

Music

Coffee

Blogging

Coffee

Working out

Coffee

Chocolate

Coffee

Cooking

Coffee

Making more girl friends to hang out with

Coffee

Making imaginary friends to hang out with when the above fell through

Coffee

Flat out trying not to think about guys at all

Coffee

Laying out in the sun for hours while my skin burned, only thinking about how much physical pain I was in, instead of what kind of emotional pain I was in

And coffee…

Yeah, I’ve tried a lot of things, okay? Why am I so desperate? I feel like freaking Taylor Swift here! I officially hate watching movies because I’m sick of seeing so many happy people!

So I’m waiting. I’m waiting. I’m sticking it out. I’m not giving up. No matter what, because this will be worth it and the right guy will come along. Hopefully not on a white horse because…I’m terrified of horses. And when he does come along, I’ll be ready. Or maybe by then I’ll be dragging my feet, who knows.

Sometimes I hate being a teenage girl.

The one about dating....

Does anyone else’s Facebook newsfeed look like this?

 Jane Doe is in a relationship. 42 minutes ago.
Comment                12  Like

Jane Doe is single. 3 minutes ago.

324 Comment                5 Like

Jane Doe: Guys are soooooo stewpid. Omg, I can’t beliveeee I wastid my time with himmm. Smh. Text meeeeee. #YOLO

            

And “Jane Doe” is like, fourteen? Three things go through my mind when I see something like that.

One—For the love of spell check…..USE IT.

Two--Why the HECK is a fourteen year old dating anyways? I mean, what do they do, beg their mommies to drive them to see High School Musical 5? What’s the point? I don’t know anyone who’s met THE ONE and dated since they were practically children. If that’s happened before, then GREAT! Good for you. Really though, 99.5% of the time you’re just going to end up crying your eyes out for three days, posting statuses like, “I don’t even care…”, “Why can’t you love me for who I am?” and, “Someday I’ll find a boy who treats me like I deserve.” FOR CRYING OUT LOUD HE IS A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD BOY!  WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!?!

Girls: Most (not all) guys’ maturity levels are two years behind the girls their age. If you’re stupid enough to date when you’re both 14 give or take a few years, he’s NOT going to be thinking about what you guys are going to name your first child like you are. I’m sorry.

Guys: Fourteen year old girls think they know everything. They are loud and obnoxious and annoying. I would know. I was one. They just want to be told they’re beautiful and a bunch of other cliché things, but when you tell them…they won’t believe you. Don’t waste your breath. If they say, “I’m ugly.” Change the subject.

Guys and Girls: Be kids while you can. That’s what I’m doing. I’m seventeen and I’m so happy to say that I haven’t wasted my time being in a relationship, and guess what? I’m not going to be until after I’m eighteen because I honestly believe that it would be a waste of time! Why? Because I have a few amazing friends and an amazing family, and I don’t want to miss hanging out with them! I don’t want a whiny boyfriend begging me to be with him every second of everyday! There will be plenty of time for that later. If you want to avoid heartbreak and long sleepless nights, I suggest waiting. Just be friends, you can find out what you want in a guy just by being friends with guys or vice versa. Make a list of qualities (Not physical qualities.) that you want in a guy/girl. That’s what I did, in fact…here, take a peek:

What I want need in a guy…

I need him to love God and have strong faith

He must have good strong morals

I need to love his parents and I need him to love mine

I need him to be kind of laidback…you know, to balance out my psycho-ness

I need him to be adventurous and active

There, see? Not too hard. This makes it easy when you think you might be interested in someone. If they don’t have the important qualities on the list…ditch them. The person I mean…not the qualities.

And I mean, obviously you’re going to be attracted to people at a young age, but if you really care about a guy/girl, just pray for them. Just sit back and wait, be friends. Wait until you’re old enough and mature enough to make it actually work.

Three—Blaming the whole entire male/female population for one silly boy’s/girl’s mistake, is ludicrous. This is what it looks like, “One boy/girl broke my heart so now all guys/girls are jerks but yet in three days I’m gonna get over it and hook up with someone else.”

Girl/Dude…the only person you should be lovin’ on is Jesus, because He’s the ONLY ONE who will NEVER let you down. Just let Him hold your heart until the right one comes along. How will you know when he/she comes along? Ask God. It’s not like He’s going to hold you back. Unless you aren’t ready. And for the record…if you’re fourteen…you aren’t ready.

Love,

Your Forever Opinionated Coffee Addict

Fifty Shades of Ew...

You know how I occasionally put warnings before my more opinionated and offensive blog posts? Well here’s your warning. I will not apologize for writing this. This is simply my opinion on a series of books. I’m not trying to start some online debate, I’m not telling YOU what to do, I’m telling you what I’VE decided to do and why I decided to do it.

Okay let’s get down to it, what is Fifty Shades of Grey and how the heck do I know about it? Well, it’s on the news like…every day, everyone’s buzzing about it, bookstores can’t keep enough copies stocked to satisfy the craving, I mean what’s up with this? I hadn’t heard of this book until one of my coworkers started telling me about it. So I did a little research about this series, Fifty Shades of Grey (It cracks me up how the second book is called Fifty Shades Darker. As if it could get any darker.) Basically what it is, in case you’re lucky enough to not know, is this book about a girl who falls for a guy and its dark and pornographic and blah blah blah X rated stuff. Luckily my mind hasn’t been scarred by details, but people I know who’ve read it said that it literally made them blush. BREAKING DAWN MADE ME BLUSH. Which is why I never finished it. But go back for a second, people I know read this? Yeah, people I care about and considered great people (most of them are active Christians too) are reading this book. What the heck?

Ladies, lets pause here. If you’ve ever caught your guy looking at porn on the internet or wherever, you’d be mad as a hornet. Correct? So why are you READING porn? It’s the same thing! Whether you’re reading it or staring at pictures of it, it’s doing the same thing to your mind. And what if reading about this “hot, mysterious, dark guy” in the book makes you unsatisfied with your man? Don’t you realize that you could be destroying your own relationship? What about respecting his feelings? Yeah he might not voice it, but if he read the book too he might not feel like he measures up to your little fantasy prince.

Single ladies that are reading this, NO GUY YOU DATE IS GOING TO BE A PERFECT STORY BOOK PRINCE CHARMING! Reading the book is setting your expectations on a level that’s totally unrealistic and well…crude.

Why am I not reading this? I’ll give you 7 reasons.

1.      Um, it’s probably illegal because I’m under 18.

2.      I’m a virgin okay? I’m saving myself for my husband. I’m not going to have sex before I get married, so why would I want to read about it? Just sayin’.

3.      Jesus specifically talks about adultery in the Bible. He says that even looking at someone lustfully (yeah that includes reading) is committing adultery in your heart. Even if I’m not married yet, someday I will be (maybe) and I don’t want to have committed mental adultery with some other dude. Even if he is just a fictional character.

4.      I don’t want my man to hang up porn in his garage so why would I hang up porn in my mind?

5.      Last time I checked, sex was supposed to be between a married man and woman. Not plastered on the pages of a hideously disgusting novel.

6.      If my mother found that book on my night stand….she would kill me. Literally kill me.

7.      I have a relatively pure, innocent, clean mind and uh, I’d kind of really like it to stay that way.

There are your reasons. Not your reasons, my reasons.