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Tuesday 14 February 2012

If you're single and you know it (now) clap your hands....Happy Val Day.

Well, it’s here. Single’s Awareness Day is here. And I’m sitting at the computer again, in my glow-in-the-dark pajama pants listening to Foster The People, wondering if it will ever get better. By “it” I mean this wretched “holiday” of course.
Funny, you know how in my last post I was whining about today? Well something kind of ironic happened yesterday…I got a TON of valentines. I’m a “stage right” manager for a drama group that my little brother and some of my friends are in, and they all made valentines for each other and that included me. I tried not to roll my eyes when I found this out. I drove home with the cards and whatnot, sitting in the seat next to me. Then I went home and sat on my bed reading them all. A few of them were from a few of my favorite little kiddos and one of them from one of the older girls, Sarah, almost made me cry. Which is strange because I NEVER cry, but you know, I’ve just been a bucket of emotions lately. It’s terrible. Like, the other day I watched Captain America with my family and I almost cried at the end when he’s standing in Times square and he’s like, “…nothing…I just…I had a date.” That’s usually when I fight the urge to yell out, “I’ll go dancing with you Steve!!!!” Yep, I’m pathetic.
Anyways, back to me venting about Valentine’s Day Single’s Awareness Day. Yesterday my little brother wanted me to pick up a box of candy to give to his friend’s mom, so I went into Meijer and went over to that part of the store with all the red and pink stuff and found a nice little red heart-shaped box of chocolate. I felt so dumb as I checked out, I actually used the Self-Scan thing because there’s no way in Narnia that I’M gonna be caught dead with a heart-shaped box of chocolate. No sir. So I checked out and walked speedily out of the store, so speedily that um…I may or may not have run into the automatic door. Hah…uh, yeah.
I donno if any of you watch Fox News or not, but the other day there was this story about a Valentine’s Day card being taken off the shelves in Target because it was “offensive”. All it said was,
 “Stalker is a harsh word…
(Inside)…I prefer Valentine.”
I thought that it was genius. Hysterical. I burst out laughing. That’s my kind of card. However, people said that it was inappropriate (which is funny considering some of the, ahem, OTHER cards that I’ve seen) and offensive to people that have actually been stalked. This kind of ticked me off because, I’ve actually HAD a legitimate stalker who ended up in JAIL and I am far from offended by this harmless card. The fact that people were in such an uproar about this, made me want to go buy 100 of the cards and send them to my friends. Boom. Take that.
I just don’t get it, if 5 people are offended by one little harmless card then the store just takes it off the shelves like that? I mean, I could find tons of cards that are dumb or offensive and make a big deal out of it, but I don’t. Someone else might think they’re funny and if they do, than fine. I don’t have to look at/buy them. And if I want to buy a card about a stalker then I will, darn it.
On a different note, this year I had thought about dressing up on Val Day and taking myself out for a cup of coffee. Or more like…I would just sit there all depressed and down one shot glass of espresso after another until they cut me off. But wouldn’t you know it, last week (or was it the week before that?) I came down with Strep and uh, yeah I’m still getting over it. So now I’m just drinking my coffee at home. Alone. With my dog. And my Bailey’s flavored coffee. And my family.
So…not alone.
Happy Single’s Awareness Day Everybody!
 Love, Hol

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