Mr. (almost) Tall, (totally) Dark, and (insanely) Handsome...

You know how sometimes when you do stupid stuff, you stub your toe? That would ALWAYS happen to me. I’d be like, grumbling inwardly about something and BOOM. Toe meets pain. I’d always know that I was making (or had made) a mistake when I stubbed my toe on something. It’s like God was telling me, “Um, hey you. You’re being a moron, ‘kay? Wake up.” Although since I’ve finally convinced myself that I don’t make mistakes (...not), now I only stub my toe out of pure clumsiness (may or may not be a bold faced lie). Which I must admit, is quite often. Like for instance, you know how “normal” people stub their toes on stuff like an entertainment center or a chair etc? Well usually when I stub my toe…this is how it goes:

Me: Just walking along innocently (enough) and then all the sudden KA-POW! My toe somehow gets in the hem of my pant leg (which is strange and seemingly impossible since I’m usually in “skinny” jeans) and I trip/stub my toe. Like…I trip…over…my…pants. I STUB MY TOE ON MY OWN PANTS!! HOW is that even POSSIBLE?!?!

Anyways, I’m not talking about toe stubbing. I’m talking about real life toe stubbing. Like, when you do something dumb and you have to pay the toll for taking a trip down Idiot Turnpike.

Today, I totally stubbed my toe. No, not literally! Stay with me now. Consequences, right? Okay, so my mom and I were in town today and she had to run into the Post Office. Well she wanted me to run in for her, however, I was being (as Tim rightly calls me) a complete “butt-head” and refused (in a totally respectful way?). So mom went in and I sat in the car. Two minutes after mom went in, this TOTALLY cute guy walked out. I’m talkin’ Mister (almost) Tall, (totally) Dark, and (insanely) Handsome. He came out of the place that I should have been (the post office). I was mortified by my missed opportunity. Not that I could have won him over with a hair flip and a smile, besides the fact that guys like that already have girlfriends. It’s just a known fact. A very…sad…known fact.

Ahem…err, anyways…I should have gone into the post office for my mom so I could meet the cute guy and accidentally have dropped a piece of paper with my phone number on the floor right in front of him where he would have picked it up and called me and then we could live happily ever after some place like Africa where it doesn’t snow.

I should have gone into the post office for my mom so she could have stayed in the warm car while I braved the freezing winter wind and snow just because I love my mother and love to do things for her because I’m just awesome like that. And because she’s just awesome like that.

BUT, I didn’t because I’m a terrible useless child who’s selfish and didn’t feel like getting out of the car. So I stubbed my toe. By stubbing my toe I of course mean, I missed the cute guy. Not a big deal, but…a big deal. I guess it just made me think that I should do more nice things for people. God knows, I might see Mr. (almost) Tall, (totally) Dark, and (insanely) Handsome again.