Band Guys...

(Note: I'm not saying that all guys in bands dress like this. Infact I know a lot who don't. This is simply me venting on my blog. If you can't take it, then please feel free to stop reading.)

Today I feel I must address a most important and disturbing issue in our society.

 This issue is: Guys in bands and how the way they dress screams, “I JUST STOLE MY SISTER’S PANTS!!!!!” even though they probably didn’t (99% of the time anyways).

Awhile back I was wandering around at a Christian music festival, called Big Ticket, in Lower Michigan.  Something I couldn’t help but notice while I was there is the way that the “band guys” dress. It’s pretty hilarious. I would say that about 89% of the band guys were wearing skinny jeans and about %55 percent of the skinnies were three times too small.  I don’t understand why guys do that to themselves. It’s as if they have this attitude of, “Well I’m in a band now so I have to be super obvious about it by wearing my little sister’s skinny jeans and a rad pair of sunglasses that I never take off.” And if they weren’t rockin’ the super skinnies, they were rockin’ the super skinny CUT OFFS.

WHAAAAT?!

True story. And if you’re fortunate enough to not know what skinny cut offs are, then by all means, please let me scar you for life by describing them:

Skinny Cut Offs: Way too tight pants that are cut off just above the knee, thus screaming that the man wearing them is having a bad case of gender confusion. This fashion crisis is generally paired with a wife beater or a really low V neck t-shirt. Both of them just add to the overall awfulness.

I saw one of the guys had his skinny cut offs, rolled up to short shorts. I suddenly felt the urge to make fun of him on my blog. He was probably a hipster.

I mean honestly, if any of the guys in my band showed up wearing that….I would fire him. I don’t care how freakishly talented he is, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR SCARRING PEOPLE FOR LIFE!

I really would rather you be covered in tattoos, pierced up beyond recognition, wear guyliner and have hair longer than mine, than wear skinny cut offs.

So, for those of you teeny bopper fan girls chasing after any guy who can play so much as Smoke On the Water on his First Act guitar, fear not. Fortunately for you, not all guys in bands are trying to fit into size -0 pants. There is hope. That hope lies in you and me. Maybe if we complain enough and make a huge deal out of it, we can force them to convert to shopping in the men’s department again.