and i was like, baby baby baby noooooooo!

*ahem*

Yesterday I held a baby.

Not just an ordinary baby….I held my friends Ryan and Anna’s baby, named Darcy. She’s a sweet little thing with pink cheeks and tons of dark hair. When Anna handed her to me I didn’t really know what the heck I was doing. She was like…….wiggling aaand I pretty much thought I was going to drop her.

You see…I am TERRIBLE with children. In my humble opinion. I mean, I don’t lose my patience or anything…I just don’t know what the heck to do with them! Especially 5+, they’re the hardest because…they talk…a lot. And they have the energy I don’t have even when I’ve had one of those handy double shot frappuccino things. I remember babysitting kids that age that would literally tackle me and pretty much beat me up. Or run circles around me until I was out of air and suggested nap time….but alas, 5+ year olds don’t take naps. The worst trick a 5+ munchkin can pull is hiding (when you’re not playing hide and seek) and not coming out from wherever they are when you call them. One time when I was babysitting a 2 and 5 year old, the 5 year old hid. The 2 year old was sleeping. I ran around the house calling and searching everywhere. I even ran around the woods with the baby monitor, looking. Then coming in exasperated and worried sick, I found her under her parent’s bed. So now whenever kids pull this, I talk loudly about leaving and going to the beach or something and sooner or later I hear the pitter patter of little kids running down the hallway.

Anyways, back to baby Darcy…..

Let me just say, that she is one of the most beautiful babies I have EVER seen. This is a big thing for me, considering that I’m not I was never the ‘baby type’. However, while I was holding sweet Darcy…I found that I actually WANTED a baby.

WHAAT?!?! MEEE???

Never. No. No way. Not Happening. This is insanity.

GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I keep thinking back to babysitting my Pastor’s sweet little girl Lily and I thought….”hey…maybe I’m not THAT bad with kids….” And I suppose I might be an okay mom someday…I mean, if I get sick of my kids I can always ship them off to live with my mom right? Ha, just kidding.

So now….when I see pictures of Anna and Ryan’s baby on Facebook, I get these foreign happy tear things….it’s weird. I think I need to go see a psychologist or something because I OBVIOUSLY have a MAJOR problem here.

the sucky smoothie...

In case you don’t know this already…I am a health food fanatic. However, I’m also a junk food fanatic. So my diet usually consists of three healthy meals with something terribly wonderfully hideously bad for me in between. And then I go and walk 2 miles. Like today…today I was EXTRA bad. I caved to the pressure of the glorious oh so lovely Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I couldn’t resist. Shame on me. AND plus I didn’t take my walk today…super bad.

So now I’m sitting here writing this and sipping a DISGUSTING smoothie. Oh don’t get me wrong, I LOVEEE smoothies. However, this one is grotesquely sourly icky and…blech.

Here’s what I put in it:

Yogurt, chia seeds, flaxseed oil, like 15 baby carrots, strawberries, blueberries, cherries, and honey…oh and ice.

Sounds amazing…usually it is.

However…SOMEONE (me) didn’t realize how sour the yogurt was (it’s like sour cream…only sourer) and ….its bitter okay? So I tried biting off the ends of a licorice stick (which is retarded because I HATE licorice) and using it as a straw….but it kept freezing closed. Stupid.

I know this is a really lame subject to blog about and I probably wouldn’t even be writing this except…I haven’t had my coffee today, AKA: I STILL HAVE NOT WOKE UP AND I CANNOT FUNCTION LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING.

Oh, and I have a headache.

*sigh*

twisted olives and shot glasses....

So yesterday...I had a choice.
Woodcutting with the family? Orrrr cleaning the house?
I chose cleaning the house and set off to work, dusting and mopping, and vacuuming. Thankfully my best friend Benny called while I was cleaning, and so we got to catch up on everything and it made the work go way faster.
About halfway through my house cleaning, my amiga Livvy texted me and asked me to meet her at The Twisted Olive Cafe behind Roast and Toast (Yep...we have a lot of coffee shops around here...), I had already had about a pot of coffee and figured another half wouldn't hurt me, and so I went. I had never been to the Twisted Olive, and had a heck of a time finding it, but when I got there I found I actually liked it more than Roast and Toast *gasp*.  Here are the pros and cons for both R&T and T.O.
Roast and Toast:
Has TONS of choices...........buuuuut their coffee is WAY too sweet
The building is really cool...........but its also really cramped
Their tea sucks (in my humble opinion)
The people there are really nice.
There's usually a lot of flies in the building
It's really loud in thereee X_X
They have comfy window seats.
The coffee is REALLY pricey

Twisted Olive:
The coffee is amazing......but not a lot of choices
The coffee is usually organic and cheap
The atmosphere is quiet and relaxing....but there's mostly old people there (not necessarily a con)
If you want a flavored coffee, they just give you the flavored syrup in a shot glass...this made me and Livvy (the "sheltered homeschoolers") burst into a fit of not-so-quiet-giggling.
Oh and their whip cream is totally phat for real.
They sell mini cheesecakes......but they cost an arm and a leg.....but they're probably worth it.
Everything is REALLY clean. And I love that.
They close at 3pm :( sad day.
I had 2 cups of coffee with syrup and whipped cream for $2.50 something

Anyways, I had a blast with my Livvy. We talked about everything from college to watching The Princess Bride in Spanish. I had a lovely time, and I put enough change in the parking meter for once. Sweet deal. =D

feeding the meter....

^{Today I finished a book called “The Ramsay Scallop”. It’s about a catholic girl [Eleanor] and her betrothed [Thomas] being sent on a religious pilgrimage to the shrine of St James. Now in case you’re not familiar with the term “religious pilgrimage” what it was in this book, was a chance for two people to make a journey to this shrine to repent for their town (earning their salvation). So basically…that would be like you walking for three months to this place to pray for forgiveness for you and every single person in your town, all the while fighting disease and hunger and living in complete poverty, etcetera.}

^{So, this book got me thinking……painful, I know…but thinking none the less. Do I try to earn my salvation? Do I try to be a good person because I think it scores me brownie points with God? Or do I do it simply because the Bible says to and because I love Jesus? Do I drop a few bills into the Salvation Army bucket in Wal-Mart because I genuinely care about suffering people, or because it makes me look like a good person? Am I on multiple worship teams because I love praising God and leading people to Him, or because I just like to play music?}

^{These are really hard questions to ask myself, but they’re even harder to answer. Honestly sometimes I just do the right thing because I’m afraid of the consequences if I don’t do it. Because, if I do this…or if I do that, maybe God will love me more. If I donate my time to this cause, or something……maybe that will make up for me losing my patience with my brother.}   

^{I guess it’s kind of like this…}

^{I have a dog. The dog has to eat. Do I feed the dog because I love her? Or because I feel an obligation to keep her alive and I want her to like me?}

^{The obvious answer is because I love her. I take care of her because she’s my baby (she’s curled up on my lap sleeping as I write this).}

^{So……do I serve God because I love Him and His people? Or because I need to “park my car in His parking place (aka heaven) and so I keep feeding the meter…”?}

^{In the past…I think I’ve been feeding the meter so I can park in the God parking lot (lame analogy I know…), but after reading this book and seeing how people were trying to earn their place in God’s kingdom, and how silly it is……well, it makes me want to be different. I guess it’s a “mask” (refer to my masquerade post) that I’ve been wearing and it’s high time I take it off. So here goes…}

masquerade....

So there’s this song by Sanctus Real, called “I’m Not Alright”. If you don’t know this song, you should go look it up before or after you read this, because it’s amazing. Anyways, this song really got me thinking…but it wasn’t just this song, I guess it was a combination of the song and the lesson from yesterday’s youth group. Our youth leader Matt was talking about masks we wear. Masks that tell people something about us, that isn’t always true. So I started thinking about what kind of masks I wear.

At first, I couldn’t think of any. I had deluded myself enough to think that I’m ALWAYS real with people about how I feel.

Well guess what you guys……I do wear masks. My favorite mask is (and by favorite I mean the one I hide behind most often) “I’m alright, you can’t hurt me and I don’t need you”. Funny, because when I wear that mask, obviously I’m not alright, you most certainly can hurt me and I do need you.

But my question is….how the heck do I get this sucky mask off? How do I NOT put it on when I’m around people that I feel I need to protect myself from?

If you have suggestions….feel free to comment. God knows I need help…..

Baby it's cold outside...

                             

       The last of the leaves are tumbling across the road; dodging speeding cars, roaring motorcycles, and obnoxious semis... Fall has been here and is packing his bags to make room for a new and rather frigid guest…

Winter.

      Did anyone else just shiver in remorse for all the days wasted inside chewing popcorn, watching movies, and Facebooking on the picturesque summer days?         

      Let me set the record straight for you, I do not hate winter. It’s um…nice? Yeah, we’ll go with that. I mean, if you forget about the bulky five layers of Weather Channel approved coats and scarves that are just about enough to make a rake handle look obese, and the numb fingers you get when you’re trying to wipe all the snow off the car windshield with your bare hands because your windshield wipers are frozen together and you can’t find your handy dandy snow brush thing, yeah…winter is great. Oh but I forgot to mention the hard glacial ice that attacked the Wal-Mart parking lot, I bet you’re reminiscing now about how last winter you were walking a little bit too fast for conditions and, *slip* there you go, sliding across the parking lot, dodging rusty cars and shopping carts. Oh crap, your shopping cart! Where’d it go? You guessed it. The decrepit old cart just slammed into some billionaire’s car, now they’re going to sue you for all your groceries.

Just kidding, billionaires don’t shop at Wal-Mart.

(Please excuse my grammatical errors while I paint you a picture of my agonizing trip to Winter Wonderland.)        

Me: Ahhhhhhhh!    (ßMicrosoft Word doesn’t have that word in their dictionary…apparently Mr. Microsoft Word hasn’t met ice yet.)

Friend’s Mom: Come on Holly! You can do it!

Me: Yeah right, ice hates me. Not to mention, the feeling is mutual.

Friend’s Mom (holding me up while I step cautiously out onto the ice in my rental skates): You’re going to be great at this!

Me: Okay I think you can let go now (I smile, totally taking ‘You’re going to be great at this’ literally.)…

So I begin to skate, first sliding with my left foot (Cuz I just do things backwards like that) and then my right. I’m now up to a speedy 0.000009 MPH. I so own ice skating. Yes, at last all was well and I was rocking this. What could go wrong? The skates weren’t killing my feet yet, my fingers showed no signs of the dreaded frostbite; the wind was at my back…it was a heavenly experience.

Friend’s Mom: Hey Holly, I wanna show you something…it’ll help you when you fall.

Me: Okay I’ll be right there—

But it’s too late, down I go flailing my arms and screaming (Which doesn’t help by the way), then I hear a crack, (my back wailing in protest) but that was all drown out by the pudgy little punk kids that were standing around laughing at my little rendezvous with the ice.

Okay, so that was like, five years ago. Yet my terror of ever stepping out onto the ice again sends shivers down my frail spine, though I didn’t suffer any lasting injuries (Other than my pride), I will never forget the pain of my ten years smacking the ice. And I know what you’re thinking, “What a wimp…” am I right? If I am right then so are you, I am indeed a wimp. I’m also a nerd, deal with it. If however you see me as a brave heroin (which if you do….you should really stop reading this kind of stuff and go watch some hockey) then thanks for your support, if only you’d have shown it way back in 2005.

So there’s my most terrifying winter experience…enjoy. And please…whatever you do, DON’T GO SKATING ALONE. Heaven knows, it’s so much better to have others laughing at your pain.

50 things that make living lovable ;)

Okay, so lately…I’ve found myself thinking really negatively….So I made a list. A list of things and people that I’m really thankful for. <3

v  Love

v  My Family

v  Benny

v  Autie, Zach, Bran, and Ant (aka the rest of Check Yes)

v  Ella, and the rest of the Durans ;) (This includes you too Livvy!! :D)

v  Leah and her amazing hugs!

v  The rest of my crazy awesome friends :)

v  Coffee, especially when Mrs. Duran makes her “special brew” <3

v  Music. Music. Music.

v  Harbor Light Youth Group =)

v  Laughter

v  Converse

v  Eyeliner

v  Chocolate

v  Dishwashers

v  Facebook

v  Hair dye

v  The sound of a coffee maker in the morning

v  Frogs

v  Cute puppies!!!! Which should be way higher up on this list…

v  Fall colors

v  Cozy sweaters

v  Warm beach days

v  Snowflakes

v  Umbrellas

v  Fire (Yeah…I’m kind of a pyro)

v  Snowboards

v  Ice-cream :P

v  Mom hugs

v  Dad hugs

v  Friend hugs

v  Hugs from cute little kids

v  Hugs in general

v  Shoelaces

v  Sharpies

v  Tattoos

v  Horses

v  My favorite pair of jeans

v  Cars

v  Muscle Cars ;)

v  Wind

v  Clouds

v  Shooting stars

v  Big stars that are probably planets but I choose not to believe it

v  Stars in general

v  Bunnies

v  Even ugly bunnies

v  Weird commercials

v  Sweet old people that talk to me in the grocery store

v  You.