Skiiiiiiiiiing =)

(Okay...here's one of the most un-organized blog posts ever. If it doesn't make sense I apologize)

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned in my short lifetime, it’s this: Making myself like snowboarding is IMPOSSIBLE.

I’ve been trying on and off for three years, the more I do it…the more I dislike it. I envy all the snowboarders flying by me as I sit on top of the hill taking like, a half hour just to strap my board on. I marvel at their ease as they carve the hills in half the time it takes me to move five feet. I sigh in remorseful disgust that after three years of literal blood, sweat, and a whole lot of back/butt/knee pain, all I have to show for myself is…

NOTHING.

Yeah. Nothing. I mean, I can (sometimes) switch from heel side to toe side, and I figured out that I’m goofy, and I learned how to fall in a way that doesn’t hurt as bad…but other than that, nothing.

So a few days ago some of my friends were going skiing, and it put an idea in my head. I skied for about six or something years before I switched to snowboarding, so why couldn’t I do it again? And so alas, I headed over to the ski lodge a few hours before everyone else, and I rented some skis. As I trotted out to the bunny hill, I pasted a smile on my face and thought happy optimistic thoughts. For all I knew, I was going to own this. Ninja skills. Boom.

So I owned the bunny hill. Twice. Then I moved on to the next hill, “Camelot” and I screamed inwardly all the way down. However, I survived and I did it again and again. Then I went inside and waited for everyone else. They came. We went down Camelot once, I dropped my glove on the way up the lift, twice, and then we went over to the next lift. This one is relatively fast and I prayed all the way up as my friends Jon and Martin laughed at my ludicrousness. If I weren’t so petrified at that moment, they would have found my ski poles lodged securely in their faces.

Getting off the lift wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. Going down the hill? That’s another story…see, everyone started off before me except for Jon. I’d say that they were a good two hundred yards ahead of me when I took off. I started out trying to make nice big turns but then I lost control and involuntarily flew by the rest of my group. I screamed bloody murder all the way down as I felt myself “get air” (like two inches) on the slightness bump or imperfection in the snow. I almost hit several people on the way down, but at least God spared me that humiliation. At the bottom of the hill, I was amazed that I didn’t fall and break something. I stood there before the lift for like, five minutes just in shock. I started laughing and babbling like an idiot. I think all my friends thought I was (am?) mental and they graciously gave me a few minutes to gather my wits. Seeing that I probably never would, we moved on. The next hill was pretty much the same story. Then we tried it again and everyone tried teaching me how to turn. I failed. On the next hill they tried again. I failed again. Well actually. I did great for the first hundred yards or so…but after that…fail. I was truly amazed and grateful at the patience and good (great actually) humor of the friends I was with.

After we were all froze have to death, we went inside the lodge and warmed up and joked around.

 Let me tell you a little bit about the group I was with…

Leah: One of my best friends and the nicest person I know. Oh my goodness, I swear, my dear Leah is an angel. She’s SOOOO sweet and funny and everywhere she goes she leaves people smiling. Loveeee her!

Matt: Don’t REALLY know him that well, but from what I do know…he’s really funny. So much so that I’m intimidated. It’s kind of hysterical. Also, he has the patience of a saint.

Martin: COMPLETE DORK. He’ll do anything to make you laugh. He also has an afro. It’s pretty wicked awesome.

Jon: (Matt’s younger brother) Funniest person ever. Also the most opinionated, harsh, sarcastic guy I’ve ever met. He draws awesome cows. He’s pretty cool.

And then there’s me: …not sure how to describe myself other than slightly strange…and I’m not saying that as a compliment.

Anyways, Leah had to leave and after that we all went back out on Camelot. Then Matt helped me with my turning and stuff which was really really nice of him.

All in all, twas a lovely evening AND I only fell once. So, I decided to give up snowboarding like, forever, and go back to skiing. Not that I like it, I don’t. But I’ll keep trying. (Fakes a half smile)

So yeah…there ya have it.

not fashion blogging...

So as of late, I’ve been scanning resale shops. Let me tell you…if you aren’t a resale shopper, you should be. In the last few months I’ve gotten 2 pairs of dress pants 3 skirts 3 dresses, 1 really cute shirt, 1 ugly Christmas sweater and 1 legit vintage Polaris sweater. All these put together, add up to under $100.

Now, let me warn you my dears…I am in no way a good fashion blogger, but check it:

 My vintage Polaris sweater: $1.25

 Shirt: Kohls like, $5.00 Skirt: Goodwill $3.97 Shoes: hand me down from Autie.

 Dress: Goodwill $9.99 Shoes: Payless: I'm guessing around $16

 Dress: Goodwill $9.99

 Dress: Goodwill $9.99

 Shirt: Target $4.00 Skirt: Goodwill $3.97 Shoes: Payless $16.99

 Shirt: Goodwill $3.97 Skirt: Goodwill $3.97 Neckless: Belonged to my great-grandma.

 Shirt: TJ MAXX (I'mma Maxinista) $14.99ish Pants: $5.97

Ugly sweater: A Penny Saved $10.00 Pants: Goodwill $5.97

I'm no artist...

So....I'm not much of an artist, but as you may already know: I love Charlie Brown. So, this is us living happily ever after. :)



Homeschooling 101

You If you’re reading this, and you know me, you probably know that I’m homeschooled...have been all my life. And like every other homeschooler that has ever stepped out of doors, I’ve faced every question about homeschooling, imaginable. Sometimes I marvel at the stupidity of people’s questions, like, “Do you have any friends?” After being asked this I generally stare rudely at the inquisitor before answering a stiff, “Yes.” When they ask how I made them, I simply reply, “The same way you make yours.” See, a lot of people assume that just because we do school at home, we do everything else at home too. THAT IS A LIE.

Another question would be, “Don’t you hate being so sheltered?” There’s really nothing to say to this. So I laugh. I’m not as “sheltered” as everyone thinks. True I didn’t hear of the “F word” until a few years ago, but that’s just because I didn’t have a facebook (I’m NOT bashing my F bombing friends and relatives. No, you don’t offend me. I’m making a point, kay?) But other than that I wouldn’t say I’m super sheltered. And I think being “sheltered” is a good thing. I’m seriously considering raising my children without TV (with the exception of Fox News, because my kids are going to be into politics and stuff. Sarcastic smile...)

Growing up, all my aunts and uncles would come up to me and be all, “Hey Holly, I know you’re getting a good education and all…but you have no social opportunities whatsoever! You should go to public school.”  Of course at this I would fight the urge to roll my eyes as I’d give them a list of activities I was in with other people, such as, “church, homeschool group, softball, ballet, drama group…” Yeah, I had/have friends, okay?

Another thing is that a lot of people just assume that we’re either totally dumb and unmotivated, or super nerdy and graduated at 9 years old. I’m not going to mislead you here, there are those kinds of homeschoolers out there BUT most of us are normal. By normal I mean, we blend in with the rest of you.

A lot of people out there like to associate all homeschoolers with the Duggars. Not saying that’s a bad thing, because it isn’t. The Duggars seem like very sweet lovely people. But I don’t know a lot of homeschoolers like them. And in case you’re wondering, homeschoolers don’t wear skirts because their homeschooled. They wear them if they go to a church that demands it (I’m not slamming those churches. I’m just clarifying between homeschooling and religion).

It seems like whenever I’m with a group of my homeschooled friends, we always end up talking politics, religion, and current events. You know everything they say you shouldn’t talk about in polite company?

There’s another rumor about us that’s going around. It’s this idea that homeschoolers only listen to classic music. We don’t. If you don’t believe me, here’s a peak at a small portion of my musical library:

Adele, The Beastie Boys, The Black Hollies, Blondie, Brakesbrakesbrakes, Chris August, Disciple, Foster the people (My favorite),  Grandaddy (not my grandpa, go look them up), Jack Johnson, Johnny Cash, Jon Foreman, Lecrae, My Bloody Valentine, Needtobreathe, Owl City, The Raveonettes, Relient K, Switchfoot, etc etc etc.

So as you see… no classical music to be found. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy it if I heard it. That’s just because I have an appreciation for just about every genre.

Yet another assumption people make is this, “So you just like, wake up whenever you want and do school in your pajamas right?”

Actually, believe it or not…we have schedules just like the rest of you. At least, in my house we have to get up and start school by nine and YES we do school in our pjs.  So, no to sleeping in – yes to being comfy.

Oh and what else, I’ve heard crap about homeschoolers being really shy and all…which cracks me up every time because I’ve met a TON of shy “public schoolers” too.  And yeah, some of us are shy, but most of us are just as loud and obnoxious as every other person our age.

I told myself that I wouldn’t go on about the advantages of homeschooling and all the reasons I’m not going to public school, and don’t even want to, and so I won’t. I’m not going to say that one is better than the other, because I really think that it depends on the person. And the parents. I’ve  known some families over the years where I’ve thought, “Oh my gosh woman, put your kids in school for Pete’s sake.” And I’ve also known some kids in school that want to be homeschooled, and would do so much better that way. It kind of makes me want to start a little one room school house ordeal. Like…homeschooling…in public. But that would be almost just like regular schooling so….yeah.

I’d really like to make a list of, “You know you’re homeschooled when….”

Here, let’s try it:

-You know you’re homeschooled when, anything below a 3.5 GPA is “failing”.

- You know you’re homeschooled when, you watch the news as opposed to The Office.

-You know you’re homeschooled when, you’re done with school by lunch time.

-You know you’re homeschooled when, you actually have a wonderful relationship with your parents and siblings.

-You know you’re homeschooled when, you take your own school pictures.

-You know you’re homeschooled when, you walk into a high school for some reason or another, and can’t figure out how to use the bathroom sink. (You know the big ones that you have to step on the pedal to get the water to come out? Most confusing thing ever)

…I could probably make up a billion more of them, but I’d like to hear yours! Comment :)

                                                    Weird things we homeschoolers do in our spare time... :)

                                                  See? Told you I have friends. This is our drama group.

                                                       This is the band I'm in. We're all homeschooled.

                                                                           School pics.

Chess tournament?

                                    
                                                           Some of my nerdy homeschool friends.

Again....

                                                    

                                                    Is it just me, or does this SCREAM, "I'm Homeschooled!!!!"



truth is...

So…I’m a fake.

To put it in Facebook terms, “Truth is…” (ßDon’t you hate that?) I don’t like winter.

I’ve been trying to force myself to like it. I’ve been dutifully praying for snow because Michigan runs on snow and I guess I’m more worried about the economy’s growth as opposed to my toes being nice and warm.  I guess that I’ve been telling myself that, I’m not a true Michigander if I don’t like snow. Secretly though, deep down inside…I deeply envy my grandma who is vacationing in loverly Florida. And I look out my window and what do I see? Little piles of ice and snow…gray skies. Monotony.  And I shiver violently as I pull the hood up on my Michigan State sweater.

So Tuesday, I’m going to the ski hills with my friends and pretending to enjoy snowboarding….for the rest of winter. Not that anyone would really notice if I didn’t show up, because I can’t keep up with anyone anyways (self pitying sigh).

I think one of the things that I’m most afraid of this year is, falling off the lift. Last year I fell off like, five times and I had bruises covering my knees for two months.

IT SUCKS.

So anyways, that’s my biggest fear right now. Oh, but I’m also afraid of getting a concussion or something. Or frostbite. I know it’s dumb but…whatever.

Basically, I’m just REALLLYYY not looking forward to Tuesday. I wish there was some way for me to just completely skip Tuesday….just go straight from Monday…to Wednesday. Yes.

That is all.

a change of heart?

So…you know how I said I was staying single forever?

Well…I may or may not have had a change of heart.

I mean, as far as being open to someone….in a few years, like not now but…later. I donno.

I started the book out thinking; there are only three kinds of guys? For real? Okay fine, I don’t like any of them soooo goodbye. Then I started thinking about all the different guys I know and how I can’t fit them into just one category. The categories are (in case you have no idea what I’m talking about), Visionary, Mr. Steady, and Command Man.  But like a wise friend of mine (*cough* Livvy *cough*) said, ‘you can’t put people in boxes’. This is a shame, because I really enjoy having an organized thought process especially when it comes to things like guys, and now this just totally messed everything up for me. (thanks a lot Livvy. =P)

So now that I learned I can’t put people (especially boys) in organized file folders of Visionary, Steady, and Command Man, I am at a complete loss at what to do with myself. And being the organized mad woman that I am (…only when it comes to thinking), I decided to go against EVERYTHING all my wise girlfriends told me and….I made another list.

I KNOW. It’s bad; it’s terrible, now I’m doomed to failure in all my relationships. As a friend of mine always says when he finds himself in these kinds of situations (and it never ceases to annoy the crap out of me….like, really dude? THAT’S your comeback?): “Well….shoooot.”

So here is a list of absolutely uncompromisable (Microsoft Word won’t accept that word, which concerns me greatly because I use it quite often) traits that I need in a guy (In order):

1.       This goes without saying, but I want a man who’s fully devoted to God in every way. One who can help me grow in my own faith.

2.       I want a guy with an absolutely wicked sharp sense of humor. Yes, wit and sarcasm…the ability to make me laugh.

3.       I want him to love my family and respect my parents like I do. And I want to love and respect his family as well.

4.       I want to reverence him. I want to have an overwhelming respect for him. If I can’t respect a guy, then he isn’t the one for me.

5.       I need someone who’s abounding in patience. Because….well, I can be a handful (nervous smile).

6.       Oh, and this is verging on dumb, but I want a guy who loves music as much as I do…I mean because, music is SUCH a HUUUGGGGEEEEEE part of my life that I need someone who understands and is supportive of it and what not. Just my thoughts.

So yes, I made a list. And I can’t decide what “category” or…categories this guy would fit into.

However, as I started thinking about everything I, a good little Christian homeschool girl, want in a guy… I also started thinking about what a “good Christian homeschool (not that I’ve totally set my heart on homeschoolers only or anything…it’s just a frosting on the cake kind of deal) guy” would want in a girl. This……..was difficult. Because…I need to work on stuff.

Like patience. However, I’m terrified to ask God for patience because last time I asked Him for it, my world seemingly fell to pieces and I met a lot of strange people. So I haven’t asked Him for that in a while.

Also, I’ve been trying to be more…how shall we say it…tidy? Yeah, so not my thing, but I’m workin’ on it.

And of course I’ve totally just become Little Miss Susie Homemaker (sarcasm). I mean, I even made my own guacamole yesterday.

Yeah..I know, it looks yucky. But it's delish.

And a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake (because I can’t bake a good cookie to save my life)…..

It was about as good as it looks...Just sayin'

An upclose look at my chocolate drizzling mad skills.

(If you want the recipe just comment below or head over to our (why I say “our” I don’t know, I’m starting to wonder if I’m schizophrenic or something.) facebook “like” page, I’ll be posting the recipes on there super soon.)

So yeah, like I said…I’m trying to be a “better, more organized, patient, joyful, way better at cooking and stuff person” this year, because I want to go in to a relationship (someday…MAYBE) KNOWING that I have something to give. I want to feel confident that I can “run a home” and cook more than boxed macaroni. Not to diss Mac & Cheese or anything, but we can’t live on just that alone (unfortunately).

new year, new church....

Change is difficult.

I like it sometimes, but right now it seems like the hardest thing in the world.

Over the last few years I’ve felt myself pulling away from my church. It’s not like my church is terrible, or the doctrine is messed up, or that I don’t like my pastor. Because our church is good, the doctrine is straight up, and I positively adore my pastor and his family.

I’ve been going to this church for almost 11 years now. Anything I’ve experienced in my childhood and growing up, my church has been there. I feel so much at home there that I could probably curl up in a pew and take a nap without thinking anything of it. God has taught me everything there. It was there that my faith became for real and not just something my parents taught me. It was there that I found What I Was Looking For. It was in that tiny building that I got counseling from my pastor as a rebellious 13 year old, which changed how I look at myself and other people.

It was at that church, I discovered how much I love music. I’ve been on the worship team there for almost three years (it would have been 3 in February) and that’s where I learned like, everything I know. I started out barely knowing what I was doing (although after 4 years of playing guitar, sometimes I still feel like I donno what I’m doing). Every worship practice back then wasn’t just practice, it was a time in which I learned not only like, five chords per practice….but also I learned how one can connect with God through worship.

After being on the team for about a year, I started playing bass (when our bass player came to lead worship and we swapped instruments). I had only been playing for four days, but the team believed in me and pushed me to be what I didn’t think I could (not that I’m anything great! Haha). They took me in and welcomed me. I mean, our team was/is kind of funny (especially because the youngest of them has got 15 years on me!).  There’s our goofy fun loving pastor who plays with us sometimes, there’s Dan (our drummer) and Becky…they’re like family to me. Then there’s Ryan (worship leader) and Anna who are pretty much the sweetest people ever. Like I said, these guys are like family to me. And now that we’ve made the hard decision to leave our church…well, leaving all of them is gonna be one of the most difficult things ever.

See, I love these people dearly but…I feel like…like I’ve totally outgrown my church. No, I’m not saying that I posses some great wisdom that no one else there has. It’s not like I’m too good for them or anything. It’s more like, I’ve changed…a lot. And the church hasn’t. What was right for me and my family then, no longer is. Also, I don’t really have any “go to” people there that are my age. It’s just a lot of little things that have built up and made big things. Which sucks, but almost everyone changes churches in their lifetime…it’s normal right?

Still hard. Part of me wants to leave…actually most of me does…but there’s that part of my heart that is still with the church. I’ve been in tears since I woke up and we had to break it to my pastor and worship leader that we’re going.

Alas, the search for a new church begins and I’m terrified. I’m SO scared that we’re going to walk in to some church, sit down, and the pastor is going to say, “All the visitors stand up so everyone can see ya!” That freaks me out. I went to one of my friends’ churches a while back, and they asked all the visitors to raise their hands. I didn’t. And then there are the churches that don’t pay any attention whatsoever to new people that walk in the door. I don’t know which is worse. I’d really like to have a happy medium. I donno…

I’m kind of beginning to come up with a list (in no particular order) of things I want in a church…wanna see?

1.       This one is obvious but…I want a super sound, Bible believing, “Open yeerrrrrr Bible to…” church.

2.       I want to have a church full of people that I really look up to, people that’ll give me advice and counseling.

3.       Um. This is selfish and shallow, but I want friends. I have none in my church, besides who I’ve already listed and errrr, no offense but, y’all are old ;)

4.       I want good meaningful worship. I want to clap my hands and be smiling as I sing to God about how awesome He is.

5.       I want to come home filled up and so overflowing with Jesus that I can’t help but share Him with everyone I come in contact with.

6.       I want to go to Sunday school. Yep.

7.       I don’t want to sit in a pew. Ha. Naw, I’m not going to base a church on whether or not their seats are comfy but, wouldn’t it be loverly?

8.       I want a church where everyone is there for each other. I want a church that isn’t just a building.

The only thing that really downright sucks about leaving is that I know I’ll never find a pastor like mine. I seriously just burst in to tears AGAIN writing that sentence. Um, wow…yeah. I mean, this is the guy who (besides my Daddo and Benny) is ALWAYS THERE. I swear, I could probably call him at three in the morning and he would be more worried about my well-being than the lack of sleep he was getting. This is also the guy that told his evil cat to attack me…but, you know. I’ve learned so much from him spiritually and musically. He and his family are family to me. He’s like a weird funny uncle or something. He’s one of two whole reasons why I don’t want to leave. He and the Gearharts/Jakeways are what I’m really going to miss. The reason that I’ve been in tears all day.

I rest my case: change is hard. It’s necessary though…

So to anyone from church that may be reading this right now. Thank you, thank you for helping me grow in Christ. For giving me a place to be me and no one else.

Yours truly….

Love, Hol.

for my sweet daddo =)

Today is my daddo’s birthday. So this morning (or rather, this afternoon) as I woke up, I just sort of laid in bed and thought about how awesome he is.

My dad is the youngest of six boys, so he’s kinda quiet. He’s probably the most gentle and even tempered man I’ve ever met before. Not to say that he’s completely quiet! He’s known for his sweet laugh that makes everyone else want to laugh along with him. In fact, just the other day we were all watching The Griswolds and dad started laughing so hard that the rest of us were laughing more about him than about the movie itself.

Another thing that always makes me laugh about dad is how he loves doing things that drive mom insane. Like for instance, mom will be in the kitchen and dad and I are sitting on the couch and dad starts giving mom a hard time about something. Mom of course doesn’t know that he’s joking because she doesn’t see him laughing silently at his own clever comment as he looks at me with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. It’s so cute.

Dad is the most hardworking person ever…oh my gosh, it amazes me how in the winter especially he’ll work plowing roads for the county all day and then he’ll come home and sleep for maybe three hours before getting called in again and working all night. The next morning he’s at it again. One time he worked for 32 hours straight. This was the first Christmas I can actually remember having my dad home! It was so awesome. Usually he has to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day…and every other holiday it seems. I was super thankful to have him home this year. It definitely meant the world to me and was the best Christmas gift EVER.

It seems like wherever Dad goes, he reflects the love of Jesus. He’s the most selfless person I’ve ever met. My dad loves to do things for us. Like if mom and I are kinda grumpy or feeling down, he’ll randomly disappear and come back with chocolate or a cake or something. Even little things like refilling mom’s coffee mug in the morning. Or killing microscopic spiders that I can’t bring myself to come near. Or if the dog threw up and the rest of us are too weak stomached to clean it up, he gets down on his knees and takes care of it.

So as I stuck dad’s birthday cake in the oven today, and sat down to write this…I found myself overwhelmed by how amazing my dad is. No matter how unappreciative I am sometimes, my dad is always there for me with open arms and a laugh. Some of my favorite memories with him are when he took me to meet my friends somewhere…we’d get there a few minutes too early and just sit in the car listening to Omelet & Finster and talking about when he was my age, and about cars and snowmobiles and stuff.

I remember when I told mom (when I was like, 3) that I was going to marry daddy someday because he was my best friend. Every day when he’d come home from work, we’d curl up on the couch and watch TV together. It was just what we did. It was our thing….that is, until the couch got too small for both of us (Haha).  Now every evening I’m locked up in my room working on my music. Dad never complains about it though. He never tells me that I should be out in the living room with the family. Instead he supports me. I always thought that my family would think I’m completely insane to even think that I could be a legitimate musician someday (Although, my little brother can’t understand how I can play guitar for five or so hours at a time and not die of boredom), but I must conclude that they’re the most supportive of what I want to do. Mom is my “go-to” she’s the one I know I can run my songs by and get a brutally honest opinion. Dad is the one who comes home (or comes to wherever I am at the moment) with a KB-300 or something that he just randomly found at a garage sale and thought I could use for the band. He’s famous for what he can find at garage sales. One time he brought me home a bass guitar. I knew nothing about bass, but he told me that he knew I could figure it out. Four days later I was playing bass for our church’s worship team. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going with music, when I get frustrated, is my parents’ endless support and my daddy’s proud smile. He looks up songs sometimes with really complicated riffs and looks at me and says, “I bet you could do this, eh?” and I laugh.

So daddo, if you happen to be reading this…thank you so much for always being here for me and supporting me. Thanks for putting up with my weirdness and thanks for all the hugs. I love you so much, happy birthday<3

P.S. I just heard you over the scanner and it made me miss you more. I hope you get off work soon! And I just took your cake out of the oven. It smells really good, it’s German Chocolate =)